Today I read for the first time about Virgilio Aguilar Mendez’s case in St. John County, Florida.
I am filled with rage and sorrow so strong that they demand something; seem to scream forth from my pores. I don't know how to live with such rage, and much less how to direct it creatively, or helpfully.
I recently wrote a homily on the lectionary for Feb. 4 about labor and the work of discipleship. My instructions were to be pastoral and uplifting, and so I was. But now I need my own dose of pastoral and uplifting counsel.
How can we live peacefully in a violent world? How can our little bodies and little souls contain the anguish shrouding the air we breathe?
Of course I signed the petition, but I did so with bitterness. What good will it do? They don't care. And they expect too few to care, and they expect that those of us who do care will resort to toothless methods like signing a petition.
On days like this I want to burn everything down. I want to grab the nearest person, shake them, and yell "Wake up! Why aren't you furious?"
Everyday I watch people shop. I watch them get angry at the lack of options, or convenience, or the rising price. I judge them. I confess to almighty God and to you my brethren that through my most grievous fault I judge them. With such contempt and pride, as if I were exempt from the wages of sin.
I wonder why they haven't noticed that more important things are going on than their own consumption. Likely, because they don't want to live with the rage and sorrow I just described.
The type of faith that we were given, that is expected of us…how can we? How can we care, remain open and tender, but never lop off the ear, or obstruct Calvary? No wonder He sweated blood in Gethsemane. Today is a good day for the sorrowful mysteries. And not just because it is Tuesday.
I ask anyone reading this for your prayerful accompaniment, that I may lean into the love of God, that can contain all odds, angles, and warring parties; can reconcile the oppressed and the oppressor, and redeem all His children.
In the meantime, as we send up our sighs weeping and groaning in this valley of tears, let’s sign the petition.